My mother and grandmother always warned me, but I never understood it until I experienced it first hand. I’m not even really sure it’s fair to say I felt it in the preceding nine months – (it was actually pretty hard to feel much of anything beyond all the morning sickness.) It’s that moment when you are profoundly flooded by an overwhelming tidal wave of adoration, affection, attachment, and allegiance to this tiny little being. It’s that feeling of pure and unconditional love.
Of course I had been in love before. But the love I feel for my husband is completely different than the intensity of the mother’s love I have for my children. I became acutely aware of that intensity within moments of my oldest daughter’s entrance into this world: I would forever be consumed with her well being. No one or nothing would jeopardize her with me at the helm. Woe be the fool who crosses this mama bear’s path.
Moms of a child with a bleeding disorder understand that. I’ve often said that my fellow hemo moms are the fiercest gladiators. They will move mountains to take care of their children. We sacrifice pretty much everything at hand to take care of our children during bleeds, physical therapy, and pain. Every hemo mom I know has thought (or said out loud to their child), “If I could take this on for you instead, I would.” Only a fool would wish that upon themselves, but you know how the song goes – “why do fools fall in love?” Here’s why: we can’t help ourselves. We are driven to do right by our babies.
Sure, my kids drive me to the absolute brink of insanity sometimes. They are stubborn, messy and completely illogical at times. It doesn’t matter. They will always be those sweet, scrunched up little newborns and sticky fingered, Goldfish munching toddlers to me. As my oldest has hit her tween years (if you thought 3 year olds were hard – just you wait), I have to remind myself of that sometimes. But the thing I hope my children will always know is that they will forever have my unconditional, immeasurable, and unabiding love.
Sonji Wilkes was born and raised in North Carolina, where during high school, she developed an appreciation for volunteerism and community service. She graduated Magna Cum Laude with a BA in Behavioral Science from the Metropolitan State College of Denver in 2001. Sonji volunteers extensively in the bleeding disorders community and was selected as the 2006 National Hemophilia Foundation’s Volunteer of the Year. Sonji, her husband Nathan, and three children: Nora (11), Thomas (9), and Natalie (6), currently reside in Colorado.
*Note: “Infusing Love: A Mom’s View,” is a blog collection of personal opinions and a representation of individuals experiences. While extensive efforts are made to ensure accuracy of the content, the blog entries do not represent HFA or its Board of Directors. The blog is also not intended to be construed as medical advice or the official opinion/position of HFA, its staff, or its Board of Directors. Readers are strongly encouraged to discuss their own medical treatment with their healthcare providers.