Multitasking is a way of life in today’s world. We watch television while cooking dinner and simultaneously helping our children with homework. We reply to email while having several windows on our computer open, all while our cell phone is glued to our ear. When you live with a bleeding disorder you master the art of multitasking during a bleed (like keeping up with your work).
But when we multitask we are often doing the things we “have” to do. What about the things we “want” to do? Caeleb was recently in the hospital for a ten day stay and my husband became very ill. He could not come to the floor to visit or stay the night with Caeleb because he was contagious. That left me holding down the fort at the hospital for several days in a row. Fortunately, when Caeleb was stable I was able to pull out my laptop and cell phone and work during the days to keep as much “normal” as possible going in my life. I am grateful for those reprieves.
I find being in a hospital environment, even if your child is stable and the pain is under control, to be very draining and that finding time for yourself is almost impossible. During this hospital stay, without my husband to tag-team with, I was unwavering in my attempt to make time for myself in the middle of the craziness.
The Hemophilia Federation of America was hosting a webinar for caregivers at 6 pm one evening. And of course,Bingo night, a highlight event for the kids on the floor, was scheduled in the playroom at 6:30. A little scheduling issue was not about to throw a wrench into my plans! I wrangled Caeleb into his wheelchair, unplugged the pumps on the IV pole, positioned my iPad on the base of the pole, grabbed my earbuds and off we went.
We must have been a sight! The webinar was already in progress as we made our way to the playroom; I had one earbud in my ear and the other one hanging around my neck, Caeleb was pushing his IV pole (remember my iPad was balancing precariously on the pole!), and I was steering the wheelchair.
The funny part about the whole thing is that the title of the webinar was “Dazed and Confused: Coping with Stress!” I was on the verge of being dazed and confused and had quite a bit of stress flowing though my body, but I was also determined to hear a nugget of wisdom or truth that may help me cope with the stress in my life brought on by this crazy bleeding disorder.
I consider myself an “experienced” hemo mom, but no amount of experience helps you face the stress you endure when you are living in the hospital, battling with the insurance company to get a new drug covered, constantly changing prescriptions, and having to track your supplies and inventory. Did I also mention helping your elementary aged child keep up with school when he has missed over fifty days of school while you are working fulltime and keeping your teenaged son’s life as normal as possible? Like the proverb says, “Mother is a verb, not a noun.”
It’s not easy. We all use our multitasking abilities to not only keep our families in one piece but sometimes, if we are lucky, to even do something for ourselves.
However, always remember that sometimes you have to toss the multitasking out the door and spend more quality time with your children.
Look into their eyes, listen to them and love them.
No multitasking required.
Cazandra lives with her husband, Joe, and 17 year old son, Julian, and 7 year old son, Caeleb, in New Mexico.
*Note: “Infusing Love: A Mom’s View,” is a blog collection of personal opinions and a representation of individuals experiences. While extensive efforts are made to ensure accuracy of the content, the blog entries do not represent HFA or its Board of Directors. The blog is also not intended to be construed as medical advice or the official opinion/position of HFA, its staff, or its Board of Directors. Readers are strongly encouraged to discuss their own medical treatment with their healthcare providers.