I recall a time when my oldest son, Marques, was in the hospital with a bad port infection. Seven days is grueling in the hospital. As mom, I stayed at the hospital twenty-four hours a day in solidarity with my son.
I did not leave Marques side! At the same time though, neither did his four-five month old twin siblings. I was still breastfeeding. One of the twins was my second son with hemophilia whom I was not ready to leave in anyone else’s care yet. That hospital stay was one of our craziest! I set up mats on the floor from home and then laid blankets on top of them to set up our “camp site.” I just knew a nurse was going to tell me that I could not stay in the hospital with the twins. However, they were all very nice and a child life therapist even brought toys to the room to keep them entertained. No one ever questioned the me; they were very sympathetic.
That port infection was so bad, three weeks later we went through the same ordeal again. At that point we decided it was best to remove the port. I am so grateful that his port lasted six years!
My husband would come by, but I didn’t express to him how he could help me in other ways. I made it seem like I had everything under control.
When I think back on that time, my first thought is, “Why didn’t I ask for help?!” I have a lot of family close by. They would have been thrilled to come sit at the hospital with Marques or spend the night so I could get a break and take the twins home. I don’t know if it was the fear of people thinking I couldn’t handle everything or the fear of inconveniencing someone. I was “Super Hemo Mom,” the expert, and I needed to be there in case I missed something. Or did I?
When I think back to that moment of laying on the hospital floor, I know I was not aware of feeling overwhelmed. In that moment, I thought I was doing what I had to do to take care of everyone. As a “Super Hemo Mom” you feel like you can never remove your super cape because you are the one that will get your family and child through any issues you are dealing with. Think about it though: all superheroes take off their capes to rest! It doesn’t make them less of a superhero. Their super powers keep them alert and they quickly spring into action! Still, they rest and take the time to build up their strength so they can battle again.
Asking for help makes you even more of a “Super Hemo Mom”! You have the power to beat the fear of showing everyone you are human and some days the issues and circumstances we deal with can be a bit overwhelming. Receiving help is a powerful super power!
So, learn from my mistakes! Look at your own situations of where you try to do everything yourself and be everything for everybody. Don’t ignore and push aside that overwhelming feeling and turn to your family and friends and say, “I need help!”
Lovee’ lives in South Carolina with her husband, Charles, and her children, MaRee’ (16), Marques (13), Laithan, and Layla (5).
*Note: “Infusing Love: A Mom’s View,” is a blog collection of personal opinions and a representation of individuals experiences. While extensive efforts are made to ensure accuracy of the content, the blog entries do not represent HFA or its Board of Directors. The blog is also not intended to be construed as medical advice or the official opinion/position of HFA, its staff, or its Board of Directors. Readers are strongly encouraged to discuss their own medical treatment with their healthcare providers.