Thomas had a stuffed animal when he was little. “Dog*” went through a lot with us. He was a constant companion, friend and source of comfort. Dog stayed in the hospital, went to clinic visits and traveled with us. We would literally pack factor for an ER visit with one hand and grab Dog with the other hand. A few years back, Thomas got into some major trouble with me and I cleaned out his room as a punishment. I accidentally threw Dog in the trash.
A few tears were shed, but overall, Thomas handled it rather maturely. I have felt seriously guilty for years. I searched high and low for a replacement. But none of us could remember what brand Dog was. The only pictures we had of Dog only showed a portion of him, so it was hard to determine which ones to try to buy. I was pretty convinced Dog had been retired.
A few years ago, in an online search, I found what I thought was Dog, but turned out to be too small and not quite right in the coloring. He was an okay substitute, but just not the same. Thomas would cuddle the not-quite-right-Dog when he had a bleed, but more than once he said, “He’s just not right. He’s soft like Dog, but he’s just not Dog.”
Fast forward a few months later and Thomas was at the height of a really bad bleed. Once again I found myself online searching for some kind of comfort for Thomas. I found another stuffed animal that I thought was Dog. I paid a small fortune for it, but I was fairly certain it was our Dog. It was worth every penny the day it came in the mail.
“It’s Dog! It’s the EXACT same as Dog!” exclaimed Thomas. He cuddled with Dog all day. And even now at 13-years-old, Thomas reaches for Dog when he doesn’t feel good.
I’m not sure which one of us is happier to have Dog back. It’s okay that it’s not original Dog. We just needed Dog back in our lives.
*Dog was named with just plain old 2-year-old logic. Nurses would ask Thomas what his dog’s name was and a grumpy, pain riddled Thomas would grunt, “Dog,” in this very ‘duh-you-idiot’ manner.
Sonji lives with her husband, Nathan, and three children Nora (15), Thomas, (13), & Natalie (10), in Colorado.
*Note: “Infusing Love: A Mom’s View,” is a blog collection of personal opinions and a representation of individuals experiences. While extensive efforts are made to ensure accuracy of the content, the blog entries do not represent HFA or its Board of Directors. The blog is also not intended to be construed as medical advice or the official opinion/position of HFA, its staff, or its Board of Directors. Readers are strongly encouraged to discuss their own medical treatment with their healthcare providers.