Infusing Love: A Mother's Bleeding Love

A mother’s love is constant and unending. 
As mothers, we love each of our children unconditionally. Just because I have one son with a bleeding disorder and another one without, doesn’t result in any more or less love for either of my boys.  However, I do think having a son with a serious medical condition makes me appreciate each day with even more love than I realized I had.  When my second son was in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) after circumcision and didn’t stop bleeding for four days, fear gripped my heart that I would lose him.  What was even worse was that he was suffering and I was helpless to rescue him.
Thankfully, as some time has passed and I’ve met community members, hemophilia no longer has a handle on me. Instead, this life-threatening experience has strengthened the love that I already had for both of my children.  One mother’s love should never be compared to another mother.  Hemophilia or not, we mothers all have an undying, unyielding, sacrificial love for our babies.
I’ve learned from my little “bleeder” that my love has so much power and importance, especially in treatment, care, and advocacy.  Both of my boys bring me great gifts of their own and they both teach me so much about myself.  When I feel inadequate, the simple touch of their tiny hand and smile gives me motivation and strength.
I’ve been recently coming to terms with my own diagnosis of mild hemophilia, and I am encouraged to take care of myself and press on as an example to my children.  I am still guilty of not always tending to my own bleeding issues while busy caring for my two boys under the age of three, but I am getting better by learning self-infusion.  Many mothers probably think all the time: if I could take any pain away from either one of my boys and bear his pain instead, I would do so in a heartbeat.
Love is floated about a lot around Valentine’s Day and I wanted to remind mothers that your love is enough.  Our sacrifices, our blood, sweat, and tears are not forsaken while we raise confident loved children.  As it is not a job for the faint of hearts, “bleeder mothers” are destined to be courageous yet comforting to our children.  It is a big task but your bleeding love is a blessing.
Samantha lives in Texas with her husband, Alex, and boys, Adoniah (3) and Christian (1).

*Note: “Infusing Love: A Mom’s View,” is a blog collection of personal opinions and a representation of individuals experiences. While extensive efforts are made to ensure accuracy of the content, the blog entries do not represent HFA or its Board of Directors. The blog is also not intended to be construed as medical advice or the official opinion/position of HFA, its staff, or its Board of Directors. Readers are strongly encouraged to discuss their own medical treatment with their healthcare providers.