Infusing Love: A Mom's View - A blog dedicated to mothers of children with bleeding disorders.

What is the last thing you say to your child before they leave the house? Maybe it is 鈥淚 love you.鈥 鈥淏e careful鈥 is always toward the top of my list. Ideally, I鈥檇 like to hear 鈥淵es ma鈥檃m,鈥 or 鈥淚 will鈥 in response. Do I ever hear that?! No! Nick鈥檚 favorite response is 鈥淣o promises.鈥

I let him walk out, but I badly want to yell, 鈥淣o! Promise me!鈥 But I know he won鈥檛 and probably can鈥檛: He鈥檚 a 13-year-old boy! I guess I have unrealistic expectations if I think he will just respond with 鈥渙kay.鈥 But just once, I really want to hear that.

Are boys ever careful? Do they ever grow into being careful? If the answer is no, don鈥檛 tell me! I鈥檇 rather keep living in my fantasy world thinking that when he leaves my supervision, he exercises the utmost caution. But I know that鈥檚 not very realistic.


Those familiar with our family know that this time of year our schedule completely revolves around baseball. Our weekends are almost always spent at the baseball field. Next year Nick will be in 8th grade and will be able to try out for the high school baseball team. Things have changed since his days of sweet, fun, not-so-competitive baseball. The game is much more competitive, and those high school boys throw the ball hard! The boys get praised for 鈥渢aking one for the team鈥 and if they try to move out of the way of a wayward ball their teammates lovingly say, 鈥淲e鈥檝e got ice.鈥

I have my own responses in my head, but of course don鈥檛 say them out loud! It never fails 鈥 after every game where one of his teammates gets hit by a pitch, Nick will come to me very seriously and say the same thing: 鈥淢om, you know I鈥檓 not stepping out of that box. I鈥檓 staying right in there and taking it.鈥 And I always reply, 鈥淚 know Nick. You have told me this before.鈥 Sometimes, just for the heck of it, I will ask that he please protect his head and his face.

I have such mixed emotions. I don鈥檛 want him to live his life being afraid, but couldn鈥檛 he be just a little cautious sometimes? I鈥檓 so proud of him for taking the position of not stepping out of that box. But could he sometimes at least consider it?

Nick wants nothing more than to be like all of his friends. He doesn鈥檛 want hemophilia to make him different. And he doesn鈥檛 want anybody to look at him differently because of it. As hard as it has been, I鈥檝e really made an effort to allow him to grow up that way. I have always thought that people probably think I don鈥檛 have a worry in the world and that I let him do whatever he wants. In reality, nothing could be further from the truth. I just don鈥檛 want my worry to limit him anymore than it has to.

Maybe I should take a page from Nick鈥檚 playbook — when he tells me not to worry, I鈥檓 going to start responding with 鈥淣o promises!鈥

Tracy, her husband, Lance, and son, Nick, (13-years-old) live in Virginia.


*Note: 鈥淚nfusing Love: A Mom鈥檚 View,鈥 is a blog collection of personal opinions and a representation of individuals experiences. While extensive efforts are made to ensure accuracy of the content, the blog entries do not represent HFA or its Board of Directors. The blog is also not intended to be construed as medical advice or the official opinion/position of HFA, its staff, or its Board of Directors. Readers are strongly encouraged to discuss their own medical treatment with their healthcare providers.聽


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