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Infusing Love: A Mom's View - A blog dedicated to mothers of children with bleeding disorders.Ask for help! It seems easy to do, but it takes a lot of effort. If someone would have told me, as a hemo mom, 鈥淵ou need to ask for help!鈥滻 could have saved myself a few unnecessary headaches.

I recall a time when my oldest son, Marques, was in the hospital with a bad port infection. Seven days is grueling in the hospital. As mom, I stayed at the hospital twenty-four hours a day in solidarity with my son.

I did not leave Marques side! At the same time though, neither did his four-five month old twin siblings. I was still breastfeeding. One of the twins was my second son with hemophilia whom I was not ready to leave in anyone else鈥檚 care yet. That hospital stay was one of our craziest! I set up mats on the floor from home and then laid blankets on top of them to set up our 鈥渃amp site.鈥 I just knew a nurse was going to tell me that I could not stay in the hospital with the twins. However, they were all very nice and a child life therapist even brought toys to the room to keep them entertained. No one ever questioned the me; they were very sympathetic.

That port infection was so bad, three weeks later we went through the same ordeal again. At that point we decided it was best to remove the port. I am so grateful that his port lasted six years!

My husband would come by, but I didn鈥檛 express to him how he could help me in other ways. I made it seem like I had everything under control.

lovee_hospital_kids

When I think back on that time, my first thought is, 鈥淲hy didn鈥檛 I ask for help?!鈥 I have a lot of family close by. They would have been thrilled to come sit at the hospital with Marques or spend the night so I could get a break and take the twins home. I don鈥檛 know if it was the fear of people thinking I couldn鈥檛 handle everything or the fear of inconveniencing someone. I was 鈥淪uper Hemo Mom,鈥 the expert, and I needed to be there in case I missed something.聽 聽Or did I?

When I think back to that moment of laying on the hospital floor, I know I was not aware of feeling overwhelmed. In that moment, I thought I was doing what I had to do to take care of everyone. As a 鈥淪uper Hemo Mom鈥 you feel like you can never remove your super cape because you are the one that will get your family and child through any issues you are dealing with. Think about it though: all superheroes take off their capes to rest! It doesn鈥檛 make them less of a superhero. Their super powers keep them alert and they quickly spring into action!聽 Still, they rest and take the time to build up their strength so they can battle again.

Asking for help makes you even more of a 鈥淪uper Hemo Mom鈥! You have the power to beat the fear of showing everyone you are human and some days the issues and circumstances we deal with can be a bit overwhelming. Receiving help is a powerful super power!

So, learn from my mistakes! Look at your own situations of where you try to do everything yourself and be everything for everybody. Don鈥檛 ignore and push aside that overwhelming feeling and turn to your family and friends and say, 鈥淚 need help!鈥

Lovee鈥 lives in South Carolina with her husband, Charles, and her children, MaRee鈥 (16), Marques (13), Laithan, and Layla (5).


*Note: 鈥淚nfusing Love: A Mom鈥檚 View,鈥 is a blog collection of personal opinions and a representation of individuals experiences. While extensive efforts are made to ensure accuracy of the content, the blog entries do not represent HFA or its Board of Directors. The blog is also not intended to be construed as medical advice or the official opinion/position of HFA, its staff, or its Board of Directors. Readers are strongly encouraged to discuss their own medical treatment with their healthcare providers.

 

 

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