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Hemo Moms Face Challenges

Greater Than Just Bleeding Disorders

Did you know children spend more time with their siblings
than with friends, parents, teachers or even alone?

According to Nursingschools.net, by the time children reach age 11, they’re
spending about 33 percent of their free time with siblings. With all the time
together, siblings are bound to have some arguments and disagreements.

Sibling rivalry isn’t a unique or a new concept. However, when one child is Zachary, right, occasionally feels
diagnosed with a bleeding disorder, that sibling rivalry can affect the entire neglected when his brother, Myles, gets
family dynamic. Sometimes unaffected siblings feel resentment, left out,
jealous, scared and confused. As one Infusing Love Moms Blog blogger attention due to severe hemophilia A.
pointed out, she has tried her best to give equal attention to both of her boys.

~Carrie Koenig, HFA Programs Manager

When I committed to writing this blog, I had no idea spend with Myles. I try to include him in more activities, such
what I would blog about until I went to see the movie as helping with shopping, meal preparation, date nights or
“Wonder.” It is about a boy born with a facial disease known special time with either my husband or me. I feel extremely
as Treacher Collins syndrome. Due to his medical needs, guilty because I never want to be that parent who favored
which require the attention of his family, his older sister one child over another.
states several times she feels forgotten. As a mother, we
often struggle with treating our kids fairly. There is often a Besides relating to this movie via my children, I am the
gray area between meeting each child’s needs and treating oldest of three; my younger brother was diagnosed with
each child the same. developmental delays and Pallister-Killian Mosaic Syndrome
or PKS, which is a chromosome abnormality. At times
The sister’s admission in the movie of feeling like the left out, throughout our childhood I felt my parents spent more time
neglected sibling in her family sounded familiar to how my and made family decisions based on his abilities and likes. I
older son, Zachary feels. I tend to favor my youngest son, can say while growing up, I sometimes felt left out. Now that
Myles, who has severe hemophilia A. While it’s unintentional I am a mother, I know what Zachary is feeling.
that I show any favoritism, I can’t help but spend more time
with Myles, as it is my duty as a stay-at-home mom to be his ~Lindsay, hemophilia mom S
primary caregiver. Needless to say, I spend much of my time
with Myles and it causes Zachary to feel that I don’t love or
want to be with him as much as I’m with his brother.

Zachary is constantly feeling lost and left out and refuses
to do things or go places with Myles and me. He has voiced
he feels unloved and unheard. I am constantly reminding
Zachary that I love him and that there are no favorites. Despite
this, Zachary is observant, and he sees how much time I

The Coping with Sibling Issues Toolkit offers helpful resources. Visit www.hemophiliafed.org/toolkits!

6 DATELINE FEDERATION < www.hemophilafed.org